Each of us has a need to communicate with people to achieve both immediate and long-term goals. This applies to handling daily affairs (e.g., work, offices) as well as close relationships and important life goals (e.g., a partnership).
Several factors influence our effective communication:
1. Strong emotions – anger, fear, shame, guilt, contempt lead us to be guided by the “emotional mind.”
2. Lack of skills – we may not possess (yet) the skills that would allow us to achieve our goals related to interacting with others.
3. Thoughts and beliefs – many beliefs can disrupt effective communication. For example, the belief that it’s not allowed to ask for something or refuse something; the belief that our needs or the needs of the other person are not important.
4. Indecision– we may not know our needs or cannot decide what we want from the other person.
5. Ignoring long-term goals – we choose impulsive behavior without thinking about long-term consequences and goals. For instance, succumbing to fear and not asking for something important to us, attacking the other person without considering the consequences.
6. Other people– they may have different needs and goals; the relationship may also be hierarchical, such as boss-employee.
When we discover which obstacle appears most frequently, we can seek solutions. If it’s a lack of communication skills, we can learn them. If it’s strong emotions, it’s worth working on regulating them healthily. We can change our thoughts and beliefs, though it takes time. We can work on recognizing our needs and important goals. Sometimes, we might need to change the environment we live in.
Mindfulness and courage in making changes!
English-speaking psychologists and cognitive-behavioral therapists based in Cracow, Poland. We also offer online psychotherapy and counseling.
Consulta psicológica y terapia en español en Cracovia u online.
integramente.pl
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